Archive for January, 2004

boo yaa! I’m serene! You serene?

This fitness trend hybridisation madness has got to stop! We used to have yoga, tai-chi, pilates and aerobics - that was okay, nothing too complicated there. And we imagined fondly that they were good enough - in particular yoga and tai-chi, which have both been practised for literally thousands of years, so you might imagine they had attained some degree of perfection. How wrong we were…

First off the block, as far as I am aware, was Tae-Bo - an amalgam of aerobics and kickboxing, but confusingly nothing to do with tai-chi. It was slightly silly, but seemed to work quite well. Then Astanga yoga became popular, but that is okay, as it could reasonably be argued that Astanga is an authentic and traditional mode. But lately it has started getting silly. In the last few weeks I have seen flyers, DVDs and books for: “Yogalates”, “Yoga-Bo” and just today, in Sainsburys, “Aerolates”. No, really.

Where will it all end? Can different disciplines be endlessly recombined? Oh, you betcha! I predict we will soon be offered classes in Aerogabo, Pilatobics, Yogabolates and Ty-phoo.

Hey, this is fun. Anyone else got a great new exercise craze they’d like to share?

My DJ

Dope, not Wack. My DJ by Brian Beber, over at McSweeneys.

This link is also via boingboing. Who Rock.

Beautiful Stories For Ugly Children

A Cotton Candy Autopsy. A comic (or ‘graphic novel’, if you will), in which clowns behave badly.

Astanga!

After floating, as I said, I went with Adrienne to our Astanga Yoga beginners class at Surya Yoga. Yoga rocks, Astanga Yoga really rocks, and the teachers at Surya like completely rock. Boy did I ever sweat a lot. I think I need to buy some less form-fitting tracky bottoms though - my RonHill Tracksters were perhaps slightly too form-fitting for comfort…

Must get a “Yoga Bore” t-shirt made.

floating in the void (hold the noseflutes)

Yesterday I took a day off. In the afternoon I walked to Clapham, where I intended to work on my latest brilliant invention at a coffee shop. Which I did, but not before I got soaked to the bone by torrential rain. By 5pm I had finished my coffee, worked myself up into an hypomanic frenzy but still hadn’t dried out. So, cold, slightly edgy and with 90 minutes to kill before my Astanga Yoga class I happened to walk past the London Float Centre.

I’ve always been intrigued by the idea of floatation tanks so on a whim I went in and asked about it. I ended up buying an introductory deal of three hour-long floats and shortly after that enjoyed my first float experience. It was quite amazing. After showering, I climbed into the float room (it was a room about 8 feet high, 10 feet long and 6 feet wide, so not one of those claustrophobically small tanks. I placed the float pillow around my neck and leaned back…

For the first few minutes some slighty cheesy ambient music burbled away, but then the music faded out, the lights went down, and I was left, floating in the void…wow. At first I was kind of fidgety, awash with recently-imbibed caffeine as I was, but gradually a deep, pervading sense of relaxation crept over me and I felt the knots of tension in my back and shoulders start to ease up. I was quite hoping I might see some psychedelic-type visuals, but that didn’t happen this time (the girl I asked about it beforehand said that each time had been completely different for her - she seemed almost reluctant to go into detail…). However, I went throught a whole range of thoughts, feelings, sensations all pervaded by a profound sense of calm and peace.

Soon enough the session was over, and I had to head off almost immediately to make yoga in time (yes, okay, I’m clearly a hippy. Deal with it). It is recommended that one takes it easy and reflects on the experience afterward, and I hope to do that next time. After the session I felt absolutely great - like all the electrons in my body had been individually polished. I bounced along the road with a spring in my step and I can’t wait to try it again. (The helpful young man working there reported that the experience could be completely amazing with the addition of some magic mushrooms. Heh.)

They also do overnight floats, which must be amazing. The only thing I would change is that I would like to listen to my own music - maybe if I ask nicely I can jack my iPod into their amp - I’d rather listen to Vladislav Delay or Porter Ricks than whalesong and noseflutes. No wonder babies cry when they are born.

bleep.com

Warp Records has launched www.bleep.com, where you can download their entire catalogue as high-quality MP3s for a very reasonable 99p per song. I don’t need to explain how cool this is, do I?

Note to Apple: When are you opening the sodding iTunes music store in the UK?

Neodymium!

I’m gonna get me some Neodymium Super Magnets!

Digital Jewelry and the miniPod

Lots of people seem underwhelmed by the new mini iPod, believing it to be over-priced and under-Giged (’only’ 4GB of storage), are can’t understand why it is only $50 less than the 15GB iPod. I think they are missing the point - I believe the miniPod is one of the first instances of technology becoming jewelry. One just has to look at the colour choices to surmise that it is aimed at the fashion-conscious, and (at the risk of gender stereotyping) at the ladeez. Wearable technology is going to go mainstream this year, perhaps the most obvious example being the ever-smaller and prettier bluetooth headsets. Apparently in PR circles this is a hot prediction and the buzzphrase ‘techstyle’ has been coined by someone.

Small, hi-tech gadgets have always been somewhat jewel-like - I remember inspecting the insides of my first MiniDisc player (back before portable music machines were hermetically sealed…) and goggling at the Faberge-Egg like complexity of the internal components. I imagine that if you showed an iPod to an Egyptian Pharaoh he would have swapped most of his treasures for it. Gadgets are now getting small enough that they are morphing into ‘accessories’ more than ever before.

I haven’t checked, but I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that there are already USB storage earrings and pendants. If not, I’m going to design some…

BodySonic Sound Suit

Until then, though, I had this idea for a great iPod accessory - the ‘Bodysonic’ suit. This is a neoprene ‘vest’ with integrated NXT flat-panel speakers. You simply jack your iPod into it and hey presto - you are a moving sound system. One could integrate some sort of iTrip-like radio transmitter which would allow other folks wearing bodysonics to tune into what you are playing -forming a sort of ’swarm rave’. I imagine a load of rollerbladers caning it through London at night to the organic beats of Alcachofa by R. Villalobos (for example) would be a rather cool audiovisual spectacle.

I am going to knock up a prototype using old TDK Outlouds and then wear it while I skate around Brixton, as proof of concept. I’m sure I won’t be mugged…

Then when that is up and running the natural next step is to have a built in ‘visualiser’ which would show animations on Light Emitting Polymer panels, as developed by Cambridge Display Technology (another Cambridge company - that place is full of clever people, I tell you.)

You could even presumably integrate NXT speakers into actual wetsuits, so that surfers can listen to (and feel) the music. Perhaps one could even broadcast shark-repelling noises, in extremis?

I’ll work on the prototype…

Bone Conduction Pillow

Toshiba are offering a Bone Conduction Pillow. I SO want one. All we need now is bone conduction stereos for our bikes, as in “Virtual Light” by the ever-prescient Mr Wm. Gibson.




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